Sunday, January 28, 2007

You have been rejected

Rejection is a painful thing especially when the rejection comes from a girl that you like. The rejection hurt me especially when I know that I could have been much stronger, more confident and ultimately much better man but just couldn't or didn't do it. I have to face the reality that I simply wasn't the best catch out there. However I have to remind myself that I am only taking the first steps on a long path to become the man I want to be, the man I can always be proud of.
I am striving to have things that no one can take away from me compassion, courage, love, superior confidence, inner peace and total freedom of self expression.

I refuse to hide my insecurities or my weaknesses in material things that this secular culture sells as a cure and a temporary fix.
I absolutely reject the western religion that tells us that by driving a nice car I would be a better man or that money can make me happy. Instead I choose to work on the real issues and ultimately I will become the man who loves without shame, fear or self doubt.
The harsh to reality of it is that to become the man I want to be I have to risk facing rejection on it's every imaginable form without protection of any kind.

Friday, January 12, 2007

The great pretender

This is not my text but it has my many of my recent thoughts in it so I will share it with you who ever you are. All the kudos and thanks for writing this great article goes to unknown wise man named Tango from brotherhoodofchange forum at www.brotherhoodofchange.com.

The Great Pretender

by Tango


My friends fall by the wayside and I feel selfish but I should not; to archive a success which they dare not follow.


I quit my job. My parents make hushed excuses to their pretentious friends, devastated at the loss of their reflected glory. But I do not care for I strive for something greater.


I ride my new motorcycle and people think I am going through a middle age crisis but at thirty this is no crisis but an awakening.


Why do I embark on this road of change? Is it for me? Yes of course. But why? Sex, power, friends, girls. No. No. No.


I do this to impress somebody. I am desperate to gain their respect, their admiration. I have never met him or her. I don’t know their names but one day they’ll mean more to me than any other. And it is to these little feet which are yet to step upon this world that I find the strength to embark upon this journey of change.


For I ask myself how could I return the gaze of their cute eyes fearing the day they’ll discover I am a fraud?


How could I stand in front of them and tell them to be courageous, when I was not?


How could I encourage a son to find himself a girl, that there are plenty of fish in the sea, when I feared ever to leave the shore?


How could I live with a daughter’s ill founded admiration, fearing the day she’ll discover that I settled for her mother? For the woman I call a wife, for I could find no other? That I settled for a mediocre job because I feared to reach out? That they who call Dad isn’t a man to be admired but a cheap imitation; a great pretender.


How many days can a father trick his sons and daughters that he is a man to be looked up to? At three, four, five it is easy - but the truth will one day be revealed. One day my kids will look at me, and compare me to the other men in this world. They will make their judgment and on that day I promise the sparkle of admiration in their eyes will burn twice as bright.


I want to be the man that leads his family through the rough and the bad and gets them out on top. I want to be the father that teaches my boys about girls, how to hold them, love them with ferocity and learn all the good aspects of this brotherhood that we are striving for. Yes, and my daughters as well.


Do I follow this path of change for myself? Yes. I do it for the respect of my children I have yet to conceive. I do it to know that the wife I will one day marry, will never find a better man. I continue this journey everyday to create a family that I never had, a family brimming with love, stability, compassion and laughter.


To have a family like that, I will conquer any fear.