Bullshit

Some of my friends told me that I am a bullshit generator because I mostly bullshit about nothing for hours and I do it with people I know or even with people I haven't met before. I am mostly in a happy mood so humor come naturally to me, but the problem is that I have trouble truly connecting with people I can talk and talk but nobody not even I remembers what we talked about the next day.

I read from a forum written by a man wiser than me that there is four different depth levels of communication between people:

1. Facts

2. Emotions/feelings

3. Values

4. Vulnerabilities.

First level has only facts for example following statement has only facts: "I just watched the movie Borat". The problem with first level communication is that if I wanted to connect with other people with just facts I would have to be a walking dictionary with lots of interesting facts.

On the second level I communicate my feelings/emotions for example "I just saw Borat in theater and I just loved it, the wrestling scene just floored me but I am afraid I got a permanent brain trauma from that movie."

On third values level in which I go to rarely in my daily communication however I could say something like this "I just saw Borat in the theater and I really laughed a lot, but when I was thinking about the movie later in home I just couldn't help feeling a bit sad about the lack of tolerance of diversity the people had."

In the fourth vulnerabilities level in which I seem to communicate really rarely, it might be that I am afraid that people might judge me and see me as weak if I show my vulnerabilities. However I can imagine myself saying something like "I just saw Borat in the theater I enjoyed the movie a lot, but when I thought about it I felt sad about the lack of understanding some of the people had for diversity. When I really think about it I also felt a bit ashamed about myself because I have said similar comments and I still have it within myself to react in a negative way to people who are different from me."
The wise man also said that when you are able to talk about your values and vulnerabilities you have to be really sure about yourself and have huge amount of
self-respect.

I seem to linger only on emotional and on boring facts level too much. Maybe it's so that I am still scared to talk about topics with more depth or think that it's boring to talk about stuff that incorporate my values and even vulnerabilities.
I remember that when I am really able to open up and talk about things that really matter to me people usually remember things I have said even years later. So I take this as a challenge and a personal development plan to open up and to bullshit about my values and vulnerabilities with people I meet.

P.S Happy Christmas and remember to open up to your loved ones!

Burn to ashes

Have you ever heard story of a phoenix bird? Legend tells that it's a bird that once dead rises again from the ashes few days later. What can you learn from that story? A Feng Shui master tells that phoenix bird represents:

"A mythical bird that never dies, the phoenix flies far ahead to the front, always scanning the landscape and distant space. It represents our capacity for vision, for collecting sensory information about our environment and the events unfolding within it. The phoenix, with its great beauty, creates intense excitement and deathless inspiration."

- The Feng Shui Handbook, feng shui Master Lam Kam Chuen

However for me phoenix bird mostly represents the true form of inner strength. The truly strong are not afraid to take emotional or even physical punishment. They know that even if the experience burns them to crispy ashes, they have the strength and the will to pick themselves up from the ashes and to rediscover themselves in the process. That is the secret to personal power first you have to have the will to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Call that girl you like, make that business call to a nasty client, call your friend that just hurt you or start your own business. Whatever it is that makes you uncomfortable do more of it. Secondly if and when you get burned by the experience allow yourself have the strength to rise from the ashes a new like the phoenix bird, you will see that you have emerged stronger.